


Please

by txmlinsonw



Category: Original Work, The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Based on a True Story, Betrayal, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Teacher-Student Relationship, my story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:55:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22598932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/txmlinsonw/pseuds/txmlinsonw
Summary: Based on true events, she understands the meaning of betrayal and nothing was ever the same after they collided.
Relationships: Negan (Walking Dead)/Original Female Character(s), Negan (Walking Dead)/You
Comments: 11
Kudos: 15





	Please

**Author's Note:**

> Hey.  
> This is a true story, and all of this happened to me, two years ago when I was 16.  
> I just needed to write it. It made me feel better and I hope you all like it, I really do.  
> Kisses :)

She was stupid. She had to be. None of this could be happening to her if she wasn't.

She held her knees to her chest, accumulated on the floor right beside her bed. Tears were falling and her lungs hurt. She had been in that same position for an hour.

Her friends warned her. Everyone warned her. _He could never want you as you do. He is taking advantage of you. He doesn't love you. He is using you. He is married, don't you feel like shit?_

She was a kid, for God's sake. A sixteen-year-old wasn't legal anywhere! And still, she thought... She just thought that he meant everything he said.

The air felt different, heavy. As if this was the line between maturity and infancy. It probably was, she didn't know her whole body could hurt as it was hurting, alongside her heart. She thought heartbreak was a figurative expression, but her chest was indeed hurting, and she could only hug herself searching for some comfort.

Her mind kept going back. Kept remembering how she got there, torturing her on the spot. She couldn't help but go on with it, spacing out till the very beginning.

Her school was full of old, frustrated, sometimes disrespectful teachers. Only a couple were at least good at it. Still, her grades were the best. She knew they had to be, so she could get that scholarship next year. She was known for that, along with all her diplomas for her language and art skills.

And she was kind of obsessed with all of that.

She knew that it was one of her biggest problems. If she wanted something, if she liked something, she would obsess over it completely. Past the point of compromise and responsibility, as had happened with her grades.

Maybe that was what happened. Maybe that was why she fell for him and his facade so quickly.

It wasn't a secret that she liked older men. Never had been with one, though. But she just knew she couldn't stand guys her age, and it was fine. Or so said her mom as she fantasized with models, actors and singers double her age. Never thought it would come true and so, so fast.

She was doodling on her notebook, paying no attention to her friends beside her and they spoke about God knows what. Then she felt a nudge, quite strong. She looked at Gabrielle, raising an eyebrow. “What?” she asked.

Gabrielle just moved her head towards the door, signaling for her to see.

When she looked up her stomach felt like jelly. There stood the most handsome she had ever been close to. He had some beard, salt and pepper that matched his gray tie. Hazel eyes that could make any woman melt and factions that only talked about all his life, his experience. His black hair was combed back and she swore she knew he smelled so good. She could feel it.

“Good morning, everyone. Name’s Negan and I’m going to teach you all about this shit” he chuckled softly, the students a bit shocked about his use of words. He looked at every single one of them, his gaze studying them. He didn’t notice her more than anyone else, and she just side smiled, her hands tight on the edges of the chair she was sitting in as his dimples appeared. _So fucking handsome_. “Oh, that. See, I’ve got this different method than all of those fuckers you have as teachers. This,” he held up the math book. “You are not seeing it more than once a month. That I can promise.” He grinned. “It’s been already approved by your director so nothing to worry about.” He stated. Then grabbed the whiteboard marker and started writing formulas already, as he spoke. She started writing them, but her concentration was completely off as she followed his voice.

“I’m friends with the director, that’s how I got here. Married, no kids. Living a few blocks from here. I’ve been teaching for ten years now.” That was his careless, direct presentation as he wrote down math stuff. How could he do those two at the same time?

Class flied away. It didn’t feel as two hours anymore. His silly jokes and tips to remember the formulas made it much better. Her phone wouldn’t stop vibrating on her lap, and every time she saw it, it was her friend’s chatroom as they wrote about how handsome and funny he was.

He asked for everyone’s name and dreamed career at some point, and she felt so nervous when saying hers but he just grinned as if there was nothing to be scared about. “Good. Medicine.” He nodded still looking at her. “You have to try even harder than everyone else then” he smiled to her a little and passed to the next person.

She felt excited, as if her favorite actor had just spoken to her. The rush was still there when the class ended and it didn’t go away for some hours later. Her friends were all flustered and crushing on him too, so she thought it was okay. She really thought she wasn’t getting into something so dangerous. Somehow, they all daydreamed but when the remember that he was married it all went away.

Weeks passed that same way. She worked her way through his confidence, her hand being rose almost every time he asked something. He chuckled. “Let’s give someone else a chance, alright honey?”

She just smiled a little and nodded. It felt completely innocent but when he called her honey even though he knew her name, she felt her thighs tightening.

It was that rush to her sex when she saw him, that made her try and be closer to him. She was even more interested on maths now, asked for advice after class, and tried to look better when she knew she had class with him. But he still wouldn’t look at her differently.

There came the day. It was her birthday.

Her friends had waited till she came back from recess, and surprised her with a muffin, some candles and a message written on the board. She laughed, happy, as they hugged her and caressed her back while telling her how good of a friend she was.

Negan walked in, and they all went back to their seats. Gabrielle went to the front, about to clean the whiteboard, when Negan looked back. “Whose birthday is it?” he asked.

Her friends, excited, signaled at her. She just smiled nervously.

“You should’ve told me!” he chuckled, as he walked towards her desk as if he was an old friend. He was like that. He was a friend to all his students after all, always open for questions, even brought chocolates one day as rewards for their good grades on the first test. She felt her knees tremble as he smiled to her and leaned in, taking her into a hug. Her eyes were so open, not believing it. “I really hope you have a good one, girl. You deserve it” he said while still hugging her.

It was just like she imagined. His cologne was fulfilling, not leaving her nostrils for a good pair of hours. She felt uneasy, living the dream.

“Thank you a lot, professor” she smiled. He separated.

“Call me Negan. You know that” he winked at her, and continued with his class as if nothing happened. And nothing really did. All of her friends, and other students were there. They all saw it. And no one, not even her friends said anything about it! They didn’t think it was weird? Worth a little talk?

More time passed by and she was about to drop it, too shy to throw herself at him. Also, it felt wrong. And now her friends had stopped making jokes about it. Negan felt like a good friend, and was the first good teacher they had in years.

Then tragedy came in with her second test.

“B+?” She whispered while holding the test, eyes open in shock as scenarios of her seeping on the streets appeared on her head. She hid it, ashamed. Most of her friends had the same grade but… that was the thing. She had to be better.

She waited till class was over and till everyone was gone, standing by the door holding the sheet of paper.

“Hey. What is it?” Negan said, only looking at her for a second and continuing to write stuff down on some papers.

“Professor…” she started but Negan looked up at her. She smiled softly. “Sorry. Heh. Negan.” She chuckled, it felt weird. Now he was looking at her intently and scoffed only a little bit at her awkwardness. “I just wanted to know if there is some way, I can fix this” she handed him the paper. When Negan grabbed it, their fingers brushed for a moment. She felt goosebumps, and he didn’t even notice. “Maybe I could make a paragraph, a presentation? Anything. I just need to raise that B up.” She mumbled, feeling shy.

Negan smiled to her a bit. “Look, honey, I think it’s marvelous that you push yourself so much. But this time,” he sighed and looked at the test again, then set it down. “You just have to practice some more. You are getting there. There will be more tests, alright?”

His tone was polite, gentle, even caring.

She sighed softly, then nodded slowly. “I swear I’m trying a lot. You know it” she mentioned. He nodded; he knew. She was the best in the class.

“Look” he grabbed a piece of paper from the things he was writing and wrote something down. “Write to me when you are practicing, if you have any doubts, I’ll be there” he handed it to her, his number written on it with blue ink.

She bit her lip in nervousness, but still smiled a bit in a ‘thank you’.

“I will, prof… Negan.” He chuckled at her words and nodded. “Have a good afternoon” she smiled now a bit more, and walked out trying not to lose her temper.

Once outside, she opened her mouth, silence screaming. She got his number! His number!

Her smile was there for hours, till she arrived home, and even after she ate. Hen it faded, when she found herself not knowing what to say. _Hi? Hello Negan? Hey can you help my useless ass with this exercise?_

At the end, she just wrote goodnight and her name. Negan answered just a few seconds later.

_-Hey you! Studying already?_

She chuckled at how likeable he was.

_-Yes :(_ _I wanted some help with this._

She sent a picture alongside that text.

A minute later he answered with another picture. She opened it. It was the exercise completed, and she could see where she went wrong.

- _Also, save me some popcorn!_

She raised an eyebrow. How did he know she was eating…? Oh, right. The picture. It showed the bowl on the corner.

That’s how it begun. They would text as friends; he would help as much as he could. It was when they started texting past midnight, that it started feeling wrong. She felt like she was cheating. A bit dirty, in a bad way. But nothing was happening, right? Yes, he was a bit flirty sometimes but it was all innoce-

_-Very well done today! I would give you a reward. You deserve it._

She read that text right when she entered her bed. She felt her heart jump in a mix of excitement and anguish.

_-Thank you :)_ _Yes? How?_

He took some time to answer.

_-Well, I was thinking, you should tell me what exactly do you want, right?_

Shit. She felt already embarrassed. She tried to write, but she ended up deleting it all. But oh, it felt so dang good. The flirtatious tone she knew he had in that moment making her hormones fly.

_-I think you know what I want._

She pressed sent and practically hid under the sheets. Did she really just send that?

_-Doll, I really don’t want to misunderstand, nor scare you. But I just have to say it. I am dying to kiss you._

She jumped from the bed, feeling her stomach turn in happiness. She just forgot right there about his wife. Who cared? He had been very clear about how he didn’t stand her anymore. They didn’t even sleep together! He told her about every bit of his life. She knew him.

She tried to calm herself, sat on the edge of the bed, big smile on her lips.

_-Maybe tomorrow?_

It was all she managed to write.

_-Tomorrow after class, then. Have a good night, beautiful._

It felt weird. So weird to plan that kind of stuff. It felt weird the next day, feeling her blood tickling in nervousness. She couldn’t stop trying to fix her hair. When he came in she was so shy, but it all went away when he winked at her when no one could’ve seen them. She smiled and bit her lip.

When the bell rang she pretended to still be writing down stuff from the whiteboard, so her friends didn’t ruin it. They just said ‘See you tomorrow!’ and went out.

Negan looked at her in silence, and she looked up from her desk to his, meeting his eyes. Shit. Fuck.

He was touching the wood with his fingertips, as if he was waiting eagerly for something. She got up, holding her stuff in her arms. She walked towards his desk, still shy.

“Are you okay, doll?” he smiled to her from his seat.

She looked at him and nodded.

“You know. I am shy.” That was one of the things that made her fall for him. How she could tell him how she felt.

He chuckled and nodded. He knew. “Perhaps you’d like to go somewhere else?” he raised an eyebrow. “I just want you to be comfortable” he added, making her feel cared for.

“Yeah. It would probably be much better” she chuckled a bit. “You like films?”

That was how she ended up going home with no kiss, but a date for 4 hours later. She started getting ready two hours before. She wanted to look pretty for him.

When she was about to go out, telling her mom she’d be with Gabrielle, this same girl appeared on the driveway.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, taking her forearm and dragging her far from her house.

“Oh, I just needed to copy the exercises from today, and you weren’t answering your phone” she chuckled. Then looked at her from head to toes and whistled. “Where are you going?”

She couldn’t tell her, right? Of course, she couldn’t. But… hell. She felt like she would explode any minute if she didn’t talk to someone about this.

So she spilled the tea.

Gabrielle seemed more worried word by word, but she didn’t see it. She just needed to tell this to someone.

“So you are going to see him now?” her friend asked. She nodded. “Where do your parents think you are?”

“With you” she confessed and Gabrielle opened her lips, offended.

“I’m not being part of this! You know this is wrong. He is married!”

There it started. All her commentaries trying to prevent the inevitable. She still went to that cinema. And arrived late thanks to her. But Negan waited where he liked it better: in the dark. When she finally arrived, she sat down feeling her cheeks red.

“Sorry, Gabrielle came by and-“ she started, whispering, but Negan stopped her. With his lips against hers. She could feel his stubble against her skin, and his hands on her waist. His cologne invading her nostrils just like the first time she had him close.

They kissed for what felt like forever. And it didn’t stop.

After that, it felt like a relationship. He would give her chocolates for God’s sake! How could she not fall for it? He would help her with her homework. Drive her home sometimes. And didn’t touch even one hair that she didn’t want him to. He understood that she was not ready for more yet.

But sometimes her hormones were all over her, and she would sit on his lap, and just feel him. Nothing else, nothing more. Just feel him. And he let her and he didn’t rush it at all.

“Beautiful, I should really take you to your house right now. You have school tomorrow” he mumbled and chuckled when she gave him pecks all over his face. “C’mon. We already had pizza. Now you wanna eat me too?”

She laughed and moved her head no, as he pulled her close and kissed her lips. Felt like a dream.

And sometimes, it felt like a nightmare. Mostly in school.

She longed for him. He was so close. She could just walk five meters and kiss him. She could. But she must stay away from him in school, only being able to give him her love with little hard drawn on her tests and his hands gently caressing her shoulders as he walked by when everyone else was concentrated in something else. She knew, he knew. And her friends knew.

But then came Friday nights, when she could meet him at the cinema, or the park, or just his car. And she could feel him, talk to him. He was so good at giving advice and that was the only time when she could just be herself. That’s how he helped her decide on her career. She didn’t love medicine; he wasn’t passionate about it. It just seemed right, and logical. But Negan… Negan listened. He knew what she loved.

Still, Gabrielle and her other friends would mess with her about it. _He’s trying to manipulate you. He just wants you closer._

She really shouldn’t have opened her mouth. Now they wouldn’t shut up about it. There wasn’t a day that went by without them trying to ruin it all. Yes, fuck! She knew that he was married. So what?

Negan was truly special, a little diamond. He was cute, he cared. He listened to her. He was there. He knew her much better than herself, or so she thought.

How could her friends say that he was fucked up, going out with a kid? Didn’t hey see how mature she was? They just didn’t understand. They didn’t understand how much they loved each other.

That was what she said to herself.

But the day came. He didn’t answer her texts from that morning. And he didn’t have class with her that day. But what…?

Then she was called to the Director’s office. Gregory.

“We’ve called you because we just received some… information, about your relationship with Professor Negan.” He said. He kept talking, but she spaced out.

She felt her lips tremble. How? What information? Maybe if she just said nothing happened… just. Something.

They called her parents and there was nothing she could do. She felt so embarrassed, couldn’t bare the looks on everyone’s faces. She wasn’t she intelligent one, the responsible one, the one that would get very far. Not anymore. She was just the one who fucked the teacher.

“I need t-to…” she started mumbling, standing up. She quickly ran out of there and escaped to the nearest park. She felt anguish, so much anguish. She wanted to puke. What was going to happen now? For all she knew he could go to jail.

Finally, he called.

“Baby, listen to me very closely” he started. “Gregory will hold the pictures from your parents for a bit. I need you to deny it all. Can you do that for me, doll?”

She was trying, really trying. But they all knew already. How could she deny it? She’d feel worse, lying like that again.

“But Negan…”

“Doll, they could sue me for this, for us. Please. Please do what I say, okay?” She mumbled a yes and he sighed in relief. “That’s my girl. I will see you later, okay? We will fix this. I love you.”

That was the last thing she heard from him.

When she went back to the school, her mother and her father were already there. They didn’t look disappointed, either of them. They looked worried. She just couldn’t do it, not when they were there looking at her as if she had been raped. _No! I wanted it!_

_I wanted it._

_I wanted it._

_I wanted it._

_I got closer. I talked back. I texted first. I flirted too. I kissed him._

_I wanted it._

So why were they acting as if he was the monster and she was just a little lamb?

She had been in her room for hours, just trying to understand, planning ways to keep seeing him. She texted him that she didn’t say anything and that, that was the first lie she ever told him. And the only one.

Her mother came to her room, but she wouldn’t open. For her, those were the people keeping her away from her true love.

“Just… please, just look at what I am going to slide inside, alright?” her mother said, and she saw a pair of paper sheets appear under the dog. She didn’t answer to her.

And then the world fell upon her as she picked the papers up. It was a police file, Negan’s name right on top.

He had been fired from two high schools already… over relationships with students. Being kept in observation as none of the parents sued or anything. She started seeing blurry as her eyes started filling with tears. She brushed them off, looking at the other paper sheet.

The first time she read it, she didn’t know what it was. She had to read it again.

Negan’s marriage certificate.

Where she could see that his wife was 19 when they married, and he was much older.

Heartbreak wasn’t there at first, but shock was. She left her phone of the floor, and she started thinking. Maybe it was a confusion. Maybe her parents did that to keep her away from him. It had to be.

Then, realization came. Her friends were right, they were right all this time.

She was stupid. She had to be. None of this could be happening to her if she wasn't.

It was over now. She just hugged herself, and waited for it to be over.

**Author's Note:**

> So, yep. It's embarrasing but that happened.  
> No, we never fucked.  
> No, I didn't go to med school. I study marketing now, because that's what I love. He did do some good things for me, teached me more than maths.  
> I just know that he works in something else now, not a teacher anymore. And my stomach still feels wird when I think of him. He left parts of himself in me and I can't get rid of them yet.  
> My 'Negan' was 35 when I met him. Married when he was 30.  
> You can ask me anything you want :)  
> Kisses


End file.
